Old Turd Tuesdays
Yes,
the Senior Special went up $2
Yes,
you can dig up another tin can in
your yard to get some more $2 bills
Yes,
it is EVERY Tuesday
Yes,
we took out the prune buffet bar
Yes,
we have no bananas
(if you get that joke... you ARE old)
Yes,
we love you goofballs!
* * * * *
Identify as a woman?
have we got a deal for you
Women's Wednesdays
18-hole green fee
shared cart & range balls
Just $44
* * * * *
VoyeurCam
https://www.ipcamlive.com/60107401cc993
If ya wanna see
LIVE
course conditions
or
ya just wanna spy on your buddies
* * * * *
Did you know we have
5 & 10 Play Passes?
Well... we do
FAQs:
How much do they cost?
The 5-play pass is $320
The 10-play pass is $580
(weekend savings is about $80 and $220, respectively)
When can I use the pass(s)?
Any day that ends in 'Y'
Can my friend use a punch?
NO
Does the pass include cart and range?
Yes, both!
What if I don't want to take a cart
and/or
don't want to hit range balls?
We won't make you do either
May I buy more than one pass?
Yes,
but each card can only be used
by the cardholder
and they expire
365 days from purchase
Fine Print:
Did ya notice we did the first part of this email
in an 'old-timey' font?
Not sure why that makes us laugh,
but it does!
Pretty sure the identity thing is gonna trigger somebody.
It's the only tool we have to whittle our email list down
to something we can manage.
If you are predominantly a weekday player,
the passes prolly aren't your best deal,
but they are great for weekend morning regulars.
We only put that last bit of fine print in
to save you the time you would have spent
sending us an email telling us the passes
aren't that great of a deal during the week.
Yeah, we know.
Now you have time to troll, elsewhere
Why am I using a new putter?
Because the old one didn't float too well
Craig Stadler
See ya on the links!
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