Saddleback Blog

Don't wait to start playing on the Fall Pass. Regarless of the picture, "Super Rob" Fleming won't let us play the course if it is snow covered. Some restrictions apply, but , we are reluctant to list them here. It is easier to make it up as we go. This pass will either get you loving golf, or, it will get you closer to your pursuits toward your bowling career If you are offended by  of our emails, we would like to apologize. We are sorry....that you are so thin-skinned. Not much of an apology, was it? Kelly Jacques is still hangin in there on Big Break Ireland. Week 3 aires this Tuesday If anyone has pix of the Pajama night, send them to Robbie. They are for marketing purposes, not personal use! Really! Not much else....see ya on the links!

The 'Fall/Winter pass 2011' play begins on October 1st. NO, it cannot be used before then, so stop asking. There are no restrictions for play other than you can't use the pass towards tournament play. Nice try! Also, and we shouldn't even have to mention this, but... ...we reserve the right to alter the pass to suit our greedy needs if (by chance) you found a loophole that we may not have thought of. The last day of play for the pass is December 31st. If you are pooh-poohing the pass because Winter is just around the corner.... Well, we don't really have a response to that. You are correct. A bit grumpy, but, you are correct. Winter is coming, again. Get over it. Maybe this will help: we were golfing last December, even on Christmas Day. So there! Golf is not actually free if you consider the initial cost of the pass. We didn't need to mention that, did we?

   fine print: Hey! We hate this crap as much as you do. It won't really be like a lunar surface...don't be such a wussy! "Super Rob" (our Superintendent) tells us that the smaller 3/8" tine and 3" spacing that he employs is the most effective modern method of aerification and the greens will heal fast. The greens will be back to his standards, pronto. Of note: when he was explaining it to us we shook our heads and squinted our eyes as if we understood...we didn't. For the warmup bucket of balls you gotta be here in time to hit them. We will not be just handing out tokens willy-nilly. If we did that, we'd run out of tokens (Waaa).   Before you email me the term "aerate" in lieu of aerify....I totally agree. I don't know who (or when) someone decided to start calling it aerify. I have to liken it to the change of calling flip flops-flip flops that my generation called thongs. Please explain to your kids 'when a thong was a

Fun story: I am a bit of a smart aleck. The drawback to this is that people love to play jokes on me. Recently, I was nominated for an award from the National Association Of Young Professional Women. You may ask the question "what is funny about that?" Answer: I am a 50 year old man. Ahhh friends. Keep 'em comin'

Because we know that there is someone reading this to someone else (because the print is too small) tell them that you just heard 'the phone ring'. If they say they 'heard it too'... we just shared a quiet and funny moment. Don't tell them you didn't really hear the phone ring. Fun, huh? See ya on the links!

Ok, we have been giving a lot of grief to the Karaoke crowd lately and apparantly they are an angry bunch. The signup is so lackluster that that we are nearing what has been deemed "NE’ER-e-OKE" which we are told is a term that means, 'You set up the show and no one will sign up or sing'. It's too late to apologize, so we won't even go there. Don't think about the harassing comments we have been slinging at you. Think about the spaghetti dinner and your time to shine (even if it is just in your own mind). OK, sorry for that one. A Friday Night Date Night for 2 for only $75? What a deal. The Senior Special is nearing its end. We are a little sad. The smells of Summer replaced with the aroma of mentholated cremes and ointments. It really does bring a tear to our eye. (the menthol, not the sentiment) We recognize 60 yrs old as a Senior. Those of you who are 58 and 1/2 and 59 can argue your point all you want, but , you don't qualify for the Se

Karaoke has best been described as a combination of people who shouldn't drink with people who shouldn't sing. Nevertheless, our next Couples' Night (SWINGERS) is scheduled. If you want to sign up, drop the "microphone" in your hand, grab your credit card, and call the shop. If you just want to come for Karaoke and do not wish to participate in golf or dinner, there is no charge. Just show up. We will paint a large 'C' on your head for "tightwad" and will keep you away from the food. We could just issue food tickets, but, how cheesy is that?

Because 60% of our seniors were complaining that the special did not include a $5 token with the package, we added it in...at 60% of value. If you were part of the 40% that were fine with the original offer, please complain to the majority. Besides, you were probably part of that larger percentage of seniors that complained that we ran out of Metamucil and the Prune Bufffet Bar was closed. By the way, a senior is at least 60 years old, according to our cash registers.

FINE PRINT: This weeks' contest is: the line  "...man, it's hot. It's like Africa hot. Tarzan couldn't take this kind of hot..." is from what movie? Who said it? Did you have to Google it? GLOWBALL will fill, don't think just because it is a couple of weeks away, that you can sit on your hands and wait 'til the last minute to pay. We will cut off registration at 50 couples. Don't get angry when you call and can't play because you were piddling around. Piddling? Who uses the phrase piddling? It must be from all the Seniors we have been hanging around with. They really are the 'Bees Knees', those oldsters. So far, the marathoners are a little.... (what's the word?)..... DELICATE C'mon, Dudes and Dudettes. We have had some 45 holers and a handful of 51 holers in the Marathon Fridays challenge. We were looking for some heartier players that can play around that 72 hole mark. We are a little disappointed in you. Pick up the p

I was watching Shawshank Redemption the other day and thought it would be fun to 'ask permission' to go potty. I am starting a grassroots campaign to get our bosses thinking. The next time you are at work (hopefully, customers or clients are in earshot) use the following phrase. Going to the (bathroom, copy room, breakroom...???) Boss? Watch for the reaction. Let us know your results.

Last week I played a fun trick on one of our Food & Beverage girls. I am not sure how the conversation began, but, ... she is now convinced that sock manufacturers are mandated to monogram a small L or R on the toes of socks. This process is required so that sock customers do not put their socks on the wrong feet. Please don't tell her any different.

Got testimonials from the following folks: Charlie Schein (spelling was close enough) Jerry Lewis and a Dean Martin Connie Stevens Michael Jackson Sharon Tate Dick VanDyke Liz Taylor 2 Randy Jacksons  (one black, one white) Thanks for playing. Let the shop know you won a comp cart on your next visit. Please redeem your gift by May 15. Thanks.

Do you have a word or words you mix up? I used to have a friend that would refer to his shoulder as; his soldier. I have trouble with 'renumeration and remuneration'. One deals with numbers and one deals with monies. Even when I say one or the other my little pea-brain questions itself.... Did I say the right one? Hmmm. Sure they are big words, but still....

Just got back last week from AZ. Long drive. Thought of danderous things like how many mini marshmallows I could stuff in my mouth before I choked to death and people who may have died in the desert. I thought I could do that....except I hate marshmallows.

My doctor signs his name followed by initials. I even saw a life-coach follow her name with some initials. I said to myself, I said, "..Self, next time you send a letter to someone, sign it and throw some random initials to follow. I love it. Your Pal, Robbie F.F.G.P.

Met comic Kevin Nealon and got a picture with him. Our simulator went kapoooot for awhile. Had to help a bad man leave the Expo. Gave away a couple thousand rounds of golf and carts. Whitey bought lunch 4 days straight. Tried some single malt whiskey which was wasted on my taste buds. Saw some exotic birds. All in all...the Expo went pretty well.

Met comic Kevin Nealon and got a picture with him. Our simulator went kapoooot for awhile. Had to help a bad man leave the Expo. Gave away a couple thousand rounds of golf and carts. Whitey bought lunch 4 days straight. Tried some single malt whiskey which was wasted on my taste buds. Saw some exotic birds. All in all...the Expo went pretty well.

This is the last week to signup for the February trip to Scottsdale. Registration ends on January 15. Don't get shout out!

DON'T CRY! It's just a little snow and it will soon be gone. Buy the 2011 pre-season pass for unlimited golf until April 1st for only, $150 Add a cart for $100 more.