Don't Make Us Release The Flying Monkeys

Speaking of Flying Monkeys
(remember, we were?)

Here is an aerial view of Saddleback
Shot in Standard-Definition
Standard-Flying Monkeys
Click here

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(please take this test)

When you look at this person...
what is your first thought?

I want to throw a rock at her & kick her
because she is pretty
and I want her to be my girlfriend
(or my new mommy)

Click here for Junior Lessons

I want to date her, marry her,
and raise a family with her

Click here for PAY YOUR AGE info
here your green fee is your age
(from 18-27 years old)

Click here for information about FootGolf

Click here for the LPGA leaderboard

Is that my nurse?

You have to check out our
Senior Special!

Old Turd Tuesdays
(50 Shades of Grey)

Green Fee
Cart Fee

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Mesquite Rewards

From our survey results!
Some of the comments we received
prompted us to offer a rewards program for
"Saddleback Frequent Players"
The more you play, the better YOUR package

will be for the 2016 Mesquite Trip.
We are working out the kinks,
but we know that it will reward your play at
Saddleback in 2015 if you are going next year

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Get out there, Bucko!

fine print:
We are still taking suggestions to make next year's Mesquite trip better.
We would love to hear from ya.
The Beer Tourney is just around the corner.
Don't wait to register for this great event.
Our 2015 TIME WELL SPENT campaign is getting a lot of wonderful and kind feedback.
Thank you for your beautiful comments.
Remember: Golf really is time well spent (it's more than just a tagline for us)
Be well, be silly, and be here on time for your tee time

It takes a village... idiot

"Capture The Feeling"

Submit your pictures of this great game we love!
Post your pics on our facebook page

(or reply to one of our emails and we will post them for you)
We will reward all of your submissions
with some free stuff from our lost and found

male, female, undetermined,
great swings, less-than-great swings
Plus: submit vids of skipping a ball to the green
(we reward skippers with brewskis)

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GOLF: Time Well Spent


Saddleback has free wifi...

you won't miss an opportunity
for a selfie or 50

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Mesquite Survey

Please click on the picture to take
our brief survey
We aim to make the 2016 trip
better than 2015
Even if you weren't able to make the 2015 trip
we would love to hear your comments

fine print
Thanks for the great pics you have sent in
Send more
Get yer butt off the couch and get golfin'
The season is here
Let us know how we make the 2016 Mesquite trip better
It will just take a sec
See ya on the links!

Can't take my eyes off you!

Can't Take My Eyes Off You


1) Keep your head down

2) Light grip pressure
(like you are holding a live bird)

3) Book a tee time

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Lesson package
DEALS of the week...
only a couple of spots remaining
Call Scooter for times and pricing

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time well spent!

Hey, Dad!

Don't waste this opportunity

Teach her this silly game you love 

You will cherish these moments
with her and her children

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There is a great health payoff
when you play golf

Check this out!!!

If you carry your clubs 
the added weight or resistance
will give you round
a huge calorie-burning boost.
An average-sized man
walking and carrying his clubs
 18 holes will burn 
1,442 calories 

If you use a PULL CART
you will realize similar benefits
in the number of calories you burn.
18 holes will burn 
1,436 calories


If you take a RIDING CART
caloric burn will take a dip,
but the results are still significant

18 holes will burn 
822 calories

If you did nothing else...
no need to change your eating habits
and played golf with a cart
(only once/week)
you could trim off 10 pounds

Wanna lose 20?
Play 2 rounds/week


Fine Print:
Were you or are you singing (or humming) the song
'Can't Take My Eyes Off You'?
If yes, you are not alone.
If no, it's a song your parents know!
Have them sing a few bars for you.
It's like heaven to touch, I want to hold you soooo much...
Scooter only had 4 spots left for this week's lesson program
when we wrote this crap...
hopefully you get a spot before they are gone.
You will not regret that decision until she
starts gambling with you and she wins all the bets!
If you are a little husky and love being a little husky... Bravo!
We are not pushing a skinny agenda on you,
but we realize that some folks are struggling with body issues,
can't find a phun workout routine,
and would just like to lose a couple of L.B.s
We applaud/support those efforts with this information.
It is a tough row to hoe.
We didn't just make this caloric stuff up to sell some golf,
we actually read (yeah, a couple of us can read)
Dr Wolkodoff' caloric study specific to the game of golf.
With that...
See ya on the links!

Get out and play!

Get out and play

Everyone should enjoy this silly game we love
regardless of inherent skill or ability

Adapt the game to you...  for a lifetime of phun!
Sommer' Lessons have begun!
(not a misspelling of Summer)

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Now would be a great time to
re-post our frost delay program

Never before
have you been rewarded when
Mother Nature messes with your tee time

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Joke of the week:
(From PK Dearmon)

"I'd move heaven and earth
to break 100 at Saddleback."

Saddleback' Superintendent:
"Try heaven;
you've already moved
most of the earth."

If you have a joke for us...
send it to ROBO by simply responding to this email
If we use it we might give you some free crap!

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In case you haven't heard...


range balls 

coming soon

Practice with the best...
even if you ain't!

Thanks to our sponsors

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Our best 18-hole tee time packages
can be found online

Click on the pic to go to our homepage
Click on the "Book A Tee Time" button
You can shop by time or price!
(all in the comfort of your undies)

Hint: Avoid the PRIME times for the most humungustest of deals

fine print:
we really didn't misspell Summer.
Our PGA guy's last name is Sommers.
Perhaps he misspells it.
Adapting the game of golf is easy if you get rid of some antiquated rules.
It doesn't matter how you get there....just get there!
Adaptive golf is available at all levels.
Contact Scooter Sommers for more info 303.833.5000
We will let you know when the ProV1 range balls arrive.
Holy cow is this gonna be cool!
See ya on the links 

HellaGood Info

Below is a 'snapshot' of our
online GOLF package savings

Checkout YOUR rate by 

(our home page)

and then click on 'BOOK A Tee Time'
Remember: Sunset isn't til about 7:30

Rates as low as

(18-holes, with cart)

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Bids for our new clubhouse

We will be taking SUB' Bids
as early as the 1st of April

for particulars
contact Lanna
(sort of rhymes with banana)


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We had a request to re-post
this stupid video
Here ya go!
Click on the pic!

some things.... we ain't so good at

We will be introducing 'dynamic pricing' to our online booking.
What is Dynamic Pricing?
Thanks for asking.
It is like the pricing model that the airline industry utilizes.
The further out you book your tee time, the more you save.
Plus, If you book through our site and not some flabby 3rd party site,
you will get the absolute best deal.
If you are a sub-contrator and want to bid your professional services
to build our new clubhouse,
we gotta let you know that our customer's
have a leg-up in this bidding process.
Plan Set will be available April-ish.
Scooter is finalizing the plan for the 50 and 100 ball challenge.
We will keep you abreast of that progress as we get it.
Good Luck!
See ya on the links!


Time Well Spent! ...the game you will play with your kid's kids.

don't miss this chance

the game you will love
with your kid's kids! 

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The course could be open
as early as tomorrow
(noonish to mid-afternoon)

Call the shop 303.833.5000
or check course updates
on our homepage

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Scooter's Super Golf Challenge Contest

100-ball short game contest and analysis
50-ball long game contest and analysis

Specifics coming soon to a range near you!

Prizes awarded 
(as if playing better wasn't good enough)

If you know of a course near you that is open or almost open,
give us a call so we can let others know.
Scooter is getting the contest particulars all finalized.
Watch for more info in future email blasts.
It should be a whole lotta fun and a whole lotta learnin'
all rolled into one fat little golf-learnin' burrito.
Sushi, for our Japanese friends.
Egg roll, for our Chinese friends.
Blintz for our Jewish friends....
(we are gonna stop there)
See ya on the links! 


Just some miscellaneous crap we are peddling!

Just for old people
and their parents!

We can't golf...
let's have a stupid contest!

Here is your chance!
Come up with a funny
Fortune Cookie saying.
Put your entries on our

interwebs social page
just reply to this email
and we will post it for you.

(you know who you are)

If you click on the button,
it will take you there

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Check out Scooter's
'FootGolf in the snow'

on our FootGolf website

Click here

fine print:
We have no idea what (if anything) we will give to the winner of our
fortune cookie game.
Probably nothing or some crap from a storage bin we are cleaning out.
One man's still a bunch of trash, usually.
The pavilion renovation is coming along pretty nicely and should be open soon.

If you are going to Mesquite, don't forget about our gathering
this Friday (March 6) at 6pm.
We will hand out some tee time rosters and news about the party in Nevada.
The Nevada party will be after the Canyons' round (Friday, March 27th) at 7:30pm
DId we mention we are picking up the tab for food & beers?
We will also have a games/rules sheet handout for Nevada golf
at this Friday's hootenanny.
See ya on the links! Hopefully!